


Worthy

by Epy



Category: RWBY
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Saying "I love you" without actually saying it, Volume 8 (RWBY)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29650773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epy/pseuds/Epy
Summary: Blake comes to check on Yang after everyone meets up again at Schnee Manor, and it turns into a heart-to-heart neither of them was expecting but both desperately need.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 10
Kudos: 129





	Worthy

Yang sat heavily in a chair by the fireplace of her room in Schnee Manor. The flames sent red and gold flickering in waves across the polished marble of the walls and floors. Yang figured she would have had enough of fire, but the comfortable warmth was welcome. She reached up to untangle her hair from the towel currently holding it and let it fall free across her neck and back. The room was cold enough to rapidly cool her still damp hair, and the contrast with the fire sent a shiver through her. It seemed cold really was a preference for the Schnees. 

Yang stared into the hearth for a moment and then smiled. Well, she thought, maybe not for _all_ of them, based on the massive hug Weiss had given her when they’d arrived about an hour ago. Yang and her companions were battered and bruised in more ways than one, but everyone here was happy to see them alive.

Yang’s smile faltered. She knew there was bad news on both sides. It had been obvious in the silence that followed certain questions.

_Where’s Penny?_

_Is Oscar not with you?_

They’d have to talk soon. As much as Yang wanted to savor this moment of calm, the weight of the past day’s events and the unknown of what was still to come lingered on her shoulders. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, calling on the techniques she’d learned to ground herself.

Black eyes with burning red irises stared down at her behind her closed eyelids. Intelligent. Mocking. Dangerous.

A knock at the door caused Yang to jump and her eyes to shoot open. Her fists came up on instinct as she turned. 

“Yang?”

Yang released her held breath and lowered her hands at the familiar voice. “Come on in,” she called, doing her best to quell the sudden adrenaline, and watched as the door creaked open and Blake stepped into the room. The click of the shutting door and Blake’s smile were soft.

“Hey.”

Yang smiled back softly too. “Hey. Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Blake said, taking a step further into the room, “I just wanted to check on you.” She hesitated a moment, her eyes glancing down at her clasped hands before meeting Yang’s again. “You doing okay?”

“Oh I’m fine,” Yang quipped with a short laugh, waving nonchalantly, “though you’d be surprised how hard it is to get the smell of the inside of a whale off of you. That stuff is persistent.”

Blake laughed, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Instead Yang saw concern, and she knew Blake must have noticed something in her posture that worried her, but she didn’t say anything about it. Instead, Blake took a step back in retreat toward the door. “Well,” she said, “I know you’re probably tired, so I’ll give you some space.”

Blake turned and placed a hand on the door, and Yang felt a pull in her chest as Ren’s words from before echoed in her mind.

_“It’s okay to be afraid, you know. You don’t always have to hide it with a joke.”_

Yang’s hands curled into fists in her lap.

“Blake?”

Blake turned, her hand still on the doorknob. Yang looked away.

“I’m…I don’t really want to be alone right now. Would you mind staying?”

Vulnerability had never been a strong suit for Yang. She hadn’t had the luxury of it for much of her life, and when she did it felt like weakness. So she told herself she had to be strong, for her dad, for Ruby, for everyone around her, because that’s what they needed her to be.

Her fists tightened as what felt like thousands of internal voices screamed at her in protest of this show of weakness. Yang barely noticed as Blake took the seat across from her. A quiet moment passed between them, the only sound the crackle from the fireplace.

“You’re not really fine, are you?” Blake finally asked, and it felt like a knife in Yang’s chest. She knew the question wasn’t malicious in nature, in fact she could hear the careful tone in Blake’s voice, but it didn’t completely erase the pain it brought. Physical pain she could handle, but this…

Yang’s train of thought paused.

That was her thing though, right? Taking pain and dishing it out against her enemies. And wasn’t there a saying about you being your own worst enemy?

Maybe it was time to dish that pain right back at those voices in her head.

“No,” Yang said, but then couldn’t help continuing with, “though I doubt any of us really are.” She smacked herself internally at the knee-jerk downplay. Gods dammit why was this so hard?

“Probably not,” Blake responded.

Another quiet moment passed. Yang sighed in defeat, leaned heavily against the right armrest of her chair, and brought her hand up to her forehead. “Sorry,” she muttered, “I’m not…good at this.”

“It’s okay.”

Yang shook her head. “No, it’s not. I mean, I know it is, but it doesn’t _feel_ that way. I should be able to talk about this but it feels like pulling teeth and that just frustrates me even more.”

Yang heard Blake rise and looked up to watch her walk over and kneel next to her chair. Blake’s left hand came up to gently grasp the one at Yang’s forehead and pull it back down. Their fingers intertwined as they came to rest together on the arm of the chair.

“Yang, you are one of the strongest people I know, and I don’t just mean that physically.” That actually got a chuckle out of Yang, and Blake smiled. “You have such a bright, blazing fire in you that’s never failed to outshine any darkness that tried to creep its way in. But—” Blake rested her free hand on top of their joined ones. “—fire still burns its source. I can’t begin to imagine how much it’s taken to keep that fire going through all this, but I want to help you…if that’s okay?”

Yang looked down at their joined hands. “It is. I just…”

Blake gently squeezed her hand in encouragement. Yang swallowed hard.

“I’m worried you’ll think less of me if I do.”

Yang looked up, and was stunned when she saw the look of genuine surprise and hurt on Blake’s face.

“Why would you ever think that?” Blake asked.

“Because it’s _apparently_ what the universe wants me to think!” Yang exclaimed, throwing her free hand up in exhausted exasperation. “Time and time again it’s proved to me that if I’m not good enough or-or strong enough…”

Memories flashed in Yang’s mind as her voice faded. Raven with her back turned to her. Her father completely shut down on the couch. Ruby leaving to go save the world on her own. 

Blake disappearing after the fall of Beacon.

The self-loathing the last memory brought made tears spring into Yang’s eyes. She hated that still, after all the progress she thought she’d made in healing that wound, she still couldn’t completely close it because of her persistent self-worth issues. Yang shut her eyes tightly, willing the tears to stop. She should be better than this. She should—

A gentle thumb across her damp cheek made Yang open her eyes again. Blake was now kneeling directly in front of her, her left hand still intertwined with Yang’s, but now her right was wiping away the tears.

“I wish I knew the right words to say,” Blake said, her voice cracking as tears of her own started to fall down her face. “And I wish that I could make you believe them, but I know it’s not that easy.”

Blake’s hand cupped Yang’s cheek and she leaned into it with a shaky sigh, appreciating the honesty.

“I wish I didn’t feel like this,” Yang whispered, wanting to be honest in return. “Gods knows now is not the time.”

To Yang’s surprise, Blake actually laughed. “After all the shit we’ve been through, I think we’ve all earned a good cry.”

Yang let out a watery laugh. It wasn’t often that Blake cursed, but she always seemed to find the perfect moment for it.

“Yang,” Blake said. “I’ve never told you about this, but do you remember when we became partners back at Beacon?” Yang nodded, not entirely sure where Blake was going with this. “When we met that night before the initiation, my first impression of you was…not great.”

Yang thought back to the night in question, and remembered how awkwardly insistent she’d been about starting conversation with Blake on Ruby’s behalf. She cringed internally at the memory.

“But something Ruby said caught my attention,” Blake continued, and Yang’s focus shifted back to her. “She said you would read to her every night before bed as a child. That gave me my first glimpse past the big and loud persona, and it made me curious, so I decided to watch. I saw it again when you talked to Ruby in the locker room, and when you asked about her while fighting those Ursai in the woods.”

“You…” Yang said slowly, putting the pieces together, “you saw that whole fight?”

Blake nodded with a faint hint of an embarrassed blush on her cheeks. “I did. That’s when I decided I wanted you to be my partner, because I realized that underneath everything you were someone who cared about others. And the more I got to know you, the more I realized just how deep that care ran, not just for your sister, but for everyone in your life.”

Blake’s left hand slipped away from Yang’s to gently cradle her face with its twin.

“You’ve always given so much of yourself to others Yang,” Blake whispered, her amber eyes shining, “so you more than deserve to have others give back to you too.”

Fresh tears fell as Yang’s heart swelled in her chest. Her hands settled on Blake’s arms, grasping them like lifelines as a wave of emotion washed over her. There was so much it was overwhelming, but still, above all of it she could feel one common thread: love.

“Thank you,” Yang managed mid-sob, and once she started the words spilled out. “Thank you so much for choosing me. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. Losing you after Beacon was one of the hardest things in my life, and when you came back I know it didn’t seem like it but I was so relieved, because it felt like a piece of me I didn’t know was missing was put back. I can’t imagine my life without you in it now and I don’t want to ever again.”

Yang couldn’t manage any more as the sobs shook her harder. Blake pulled her into a tight embrace, and Yang buried her face in her neck as she hugged her back tightly. They stayed there for what felt like an eternity, holding each other, aware of nothing else beyond themselves. Eventually the sobs died down and were replaced with the comfort of catharsis.

“Sorry,” Yang laughed as she pulled back to rub stray tears from her eyes, “that was a lot.”

The remainder of Yang’s apology died on her tongue when she recognized everything she was feeling before reflected right back at her in Blake’s eyes.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing,” Blake said as she shook her head, her ears flattening. “Leaving you after Beacon was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done in my life. After everything you’d done for me, I still didn’t have the courage to stay when you needed me most, and I will _always_ regret that.”

Amber eyes met lavender, and Yang was awed by the fierce determination she saw in them.

“I promised you I would stay, and I meant it, because you deserve to have someone who cares about you stand by your side through both the good and the bad. I don’t know if I’m worthy of being that person yet, but I will do my best to earn that place.”

Yang stared back at Blake for a moment as the words sank in. Then, silently, she reached out to pull Blake forward until their foreheads met. Yang closed her eyes and took in their proximity before responding in a whisper.

“You already are worthy.”

And she kissed her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This story didn’t end up taking the path I initially intended, but it was one of those where the characters ended up guiding me instead. Fun stuff to write, I especially loved the callbacks to Volume 1.
> 
> I’m your-reference-here over on tumblr, feel free to come say hello!


End file.
